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DEAR CANCER ~ You Can Kiss MY Ass

Dear Cancer,

You can kiss my ass.  Yup. Said it.  ASS.  We have met before.  Too many times, in fact.  We were introduced through family, through friends, acquaintances and even strangers.  I am writing to you today, as I have done before.  Remember when I told you to KISS MY BUTT ? Errrh, well now I am swearing, and saying ASS.  I am feeling a bit more bold.  Take that, Cancer….  And kiss it.  Stick it where the sun don’t shine.

More importantly, I am here to now officially say to you Cancer ~ You kissed it.  In the countless stories I have heard about you, it is so refreshing to share a positive one.  A story of a guy named Michael Knowlton (my hubby) and how he has fought you like a chemo marathoner.  And won.  He won big.  Like the lottery, but only better.

I would even go so far as to say that he looked you in the face * Cancer * ….and gave you the big fat middle finger.

Then he drop kicked you when you weren’t looking.

If  you had a face * CANCER * he punched it.  Right square between the eyes.

He knocked you so far back into another century, that your Cancer clothes are outta style.

If the world was flat, he threw you * CANCER *  right off of it.

For me personally….CANCER is the one thing, the one disease, where I throw all my punches.  I flail my arms like a big sissy and take a big flying girly swing. A girl has to do, what a girl has to do….And damn it, I never wanna miss.

I’m not gonna lie.

I have lived a life surrounded by Cancer.  Haven’t most of us?  Don’t be freaked out at this moment, and run out the back door.

I tried it, and it doesn’t work.

Like many of you, I have had a front row seat to watching Cancer.

They might even be box seats.

Seats with premium views, and double buttered popcorn.

For those of you who know our family personally, I must confess that I have been feeling sorta guilty.  No blog posts of late on Cancer.  I have been having such a hoot blogging about design, travels, and inspiration, that I didn’t even bother to blog about the life in between.

My bad.

Too bad, so sad.

 My fault, your problem :)

I would like to promise that I will blog more about Cancer updates but that would be a big fat juicy lie.  I have a packed schedule of  ‘de-Christmas-fying’ around here.  Shuffling away Santa stuff ( yes, still !!! don’t bug me), and finding things that I threw in the closets during the holiday season.  If you open a closet door here, I am sure that something would come flying out and attack you.

Ok, truth…because I promised I wouldn’t lie to you…I am heading to PARIS again soon and I am spending all my time trying to dream up words in French again.  Hellooooo French is hard enough to learn, and it’s an even bigger Bi*tch to remember.  Old age sinking in.  Like the Titanic.  The icing on the cake of old age is the need for reading glasses too….Gaaaahreat…What’s next ? Dentures?! If I get dentures some day, I am going to stud them with diamonds and maybe a gold tooth.  Just for kicks.

Ok, I promised the scoop on Michael so here it is…

There was time when Michael was so sick, he required TWO blood transfusions.  His slow-growing Cancer suddenly kicked into high gear.  It revved its engine and took off like a bat outta hell.  He was literally yellow.  Almost green like Kermit the Frog. Without the cute frog accent.  His blood counts were dangerously low.  He had night sweats that looked like a floating lake on his chest.  With waves.  Big water waves.  He was sleeping like a dog on a hot summers night.  Couldn’t drag his butt outta bed ~ unless we hollered “dinner!!”.  He lost weight.

His bone marrow was infiltrated with 75% of Cancer.

  Noooo kidding. Freaky, right ?!

Remember….don’t run out the back door, it doesn’t work.

Chemotherapy walked in our front door.  It looked him right in the face.  We decided at that moment that Chemotherapy is not poison, it is LOVE JUICE.  It is the healing potion.  Believe me, I know what an oxymoron that sounds like.  Lived it ( by watching it), been there, got the freakin’ poster.

He has had 7 monthly rounds of chemotherapy, and a week of steroids in between.  No he does not look like the incredible hulk.  Maybe the green part occasionally, but that is where it ends.  He does look FABULOUS though, and he has been fighting the cancer fight like a fine tuned athlete.  He is fighting a cancer that occurs ONE IN A MILLION.

He is one rare dude.

A dude who knows how to fight cancer with peak performance.

I want to share a clip with you from Mahan Khalsa about Peak Performance.  Mahan is close personal friend of Michael, and they worked together for many years.  Michael, in his work life and in his battle against cancer has been fighting the fight of a world-class athlete.  A peak performer.

So the big scoop of Michael’s Peak Performance in his fight against Cancer is that his chemo should {kinda} end in one month.

{ this is where you jump up and down and throw things all over the room in excitement }

Never mind if anyone is looking.

I do it all the time.  It is fine.  Do the Happy Dance !

Someday, I hope that he will have the chance to share his story and continue his incredible business work.  He is a world-class facilitator, and if I get the chance to stand in the room and watch him tell his story…

It may be the best day of my life.

In the big picture, for the next two years, he will do chemotherapy every three months.  He may continue this style of maintenance Chemotherapy for up to 5 years.   Yup 5 years.  That sounds a pinch daunting.. 5 years more of chemo ~but then again, the way I see it…at least the daisies will be growing under his feet.

 I like that better than the alternative.

So rather than think HOLY SH*T….2 to 5 more years of chemo ??!!!! whaaaat ?? I think….

We have him.  We have him here.

That is something to celebrate.

And it reminded me….

*

WE CAN SURVIVE

*

WE CAN-CER VIVE.

Do Epic Shit, because it Matters.

52 Comments Post a comment
  1. HUGE kudos to you, your Cancer Warrior husband and resilient family!! Just LOVE your story and positive energy!!

    February 17, 2012
  2. What a wonderful post … you kick ass girl!
    Prayers and blessings to you and your lovely family.
    xoxoxo

    February 13, 2012
    • Thanks for the blog love! Off to kick some more of Cancers ass ! Cheers !! Lynne

      February 17, 2012
  3. Lynne: I admire your positive attitude and how you’ve injected perserverance and humor into something so dire — I know together you and Michael will win this god-awful battle. We should all use you as a role model of how to stand up to adversity, brush yourself off and win the damn battle we all face one way or another in our lives everyday – touching,
    xo tamara stephenson

    February 9, 2012
  4. Morgan Wade #

    That is amazing! I have Hodgkin’s Lymphoma and recently kicked it and now feel great! So I can relate. I enjoy your blog and thank you for your words!

    January 30, 2012
    • You have Lymphoma too? You kicked it ? Whhhooohoooo !!!! I love hearing stories where Cancer gets kicked to the curb. Sounds like you gave it a swift kick in the butt !!! Congrats ! You are incredible! ….Lynne xx

      January 30, 2012
  5. Philippe and Suzana #

    Hi Lynne, let’s celebrate when you come back to Sèvres ! I liked the post and the pictures are cool and most of it it’ s great news ! Congrats to Michael :-)

    January 13, 2012
  6. You probably appreciate life more than most people from dealing with this all around you. I send you and your hubby best wishes, a strong recovery and lots of love.

    January 13, 2012
  7. Paul Taylor #

    Real Nice news Lyney:

    Mike is such an inspiration, he is so strong. Great family, really want to see you guys soon!!

    January 12, 2012
  8. chatsoonsandy #

    You are an inspiration too. I can hardly say the words of how I feel about this wonderful news. One in a million!!!!!….I am so happy for his strength of commitment to live a full and engaging life. love you….Mom

    January 12, 2012
    • It is so nice to know that my MOM reads my blog too. Guess this means I better stop with the potty mouth.

      January 13, 2012
  9. Hi Lynn–

    Chemo is hell–been there and back–but its much better than the alternative…and a positive attitude (plus I thanked God for what he gave me daily)..my ono asked me if I prayed cause 10% of hopeless cases are cured and docs don’t know why ….that and visualizing it being gone

    Recently I received a email from a fellow artist – hopeless case- he beat it with nothing- docs are amazed…(if you are Michael want or need to talk my email is godenfineart@yahoo.com)

    Reading your post gives me a insight of what my husband (a Michael too) & kids went through when I was sick.

    One thing I never is give c a capital letter- most of the time I only use c instead of the word—no extra publicity from me—

    peace & luv
    Joyce

    January 12, 2012
    • Hi Joyce ! Wow what a beautiful insight. You are right, I don’t typically give cancer the capital C either but this time I wanted to highlight it since we were KICKING IT IN THE BUTT =). Otherwise, using that C word can be dangerous, especially with my MOM reading the blog. haha. Thank u for sharing your journey with me too. See u in the twitterverse. Much love, Lynne xx

      January 13, 2012
  10. Pat Folliott #

    See…we Blue Devils know how to put the puck in the net no matter the odds! Inspirational leader then, inspirational leader now Michael. Gutsy, never-say-never sweat hogs rule! Although I must say, your linemates on this new rink are destined for the Hall of Fame. :-) With Lynne at centre you will win every draw and every battle in the corners. So thrilled to learn of this news. Group hug and much love. Pat

    January 12, 2012
    • Pat, you just made me speechless. A rare moment indeed-y. Thank you for your incredible-ness. I think I just made up that word too. Group hug right backatcha. xx

      January 13, 2012
  11. Sam #

    Holy friggin amazing Lynne!!!!!! Oh man you making me cry over here! I knew you would make Cancer kiss your asses! I just knew it.
    XOXOOXOXOXO
    Sam

    January 12, 2012
  12. you guys kicked cancer to the curb!!

    January 12, 2012
    • OOH yah, Lori, and it feels pretty damn good. I think we all should celebrate. Lynne xx

      January 13, 2012
  13. What an amazing story. You have an amazing outlook on life and living with illness/disease. Next week I’m doing a post for Glassybaby founder Lee Rhodes (3 time cancer survivor) in the Pacific Northwest and I plan to share this story. Enjoy your upcoming trip to Paris and thank you for sharing.

    .

    January 12, 2012
    • Wow Leslie !! Will you send me a link ?! I would love love love to read it. Lynne xx

      January 13, 2012
  14. Just when I think I couldn’t adore you more… This was a fabulous blog post to read! I am SO SO SO happy for Michael, you and your family. I can’t see how cancer has a chance with you doing battle. I’ve been hootin, hollerin and carryin on myself this week: 16 year-old niece got a clean MRI after chemo round (brain tumor). This is the best week EVER! Now and forevermore, cancer can kiss ass. xoxo

    January 12, 2012
  15. That is OUTSTANDING news Lynne! I was so excited to read this!!! I don’t even “know” you guys, but I feel for you so much in this journey and was just thrilled to read you got some great news :)
    I totally believe what we focus on grows…and your positive focus is clearly working for you.
    Keep doing that happy dance…keep kicking cancer’s ASS….keep up that amazing attitude of yours…keep doing Epic Sh*t….the best is yet to come :))

    January 12, 2012
  16. I love the way you stare cancer in the face and show it how mighty and powerful you are! That is so very exciting about your bunnies news. I’m doing the happy dance all the way from Oregon!

    January 12, 2012
  17. I’m with the rest of them in the crying camp…tears of joy. Love your style and your story telling and LOVE that Michael is beating the crap out of cancer…whoo hooooo! BIG hug to you, Michael and the kids.

    January 11, 2012
  18. Quite the journey you, your hubby and chidren have travelled and are still travelling. No doubt being a ‘Peak Performer” has made the road you’re forced to take together, slightly less bumpy. Wishing you smooth sailing, for the next five years (if need be)….and a wonderful end destination. Enjoy Paris Lynne.
    Hugs, Mo

    January 11, 2012
    • Thanks Mo..You have been a rock for me in the past months…sticking with me daily…and I am so grateful to have you in my life. Big hugs, Lynne xx

      January 11, 2012
  19. That’s great news! Congrats to you and your family. So glad to hear it and that things are on the upswing. What a great way to start the new year!

    January 11, 2012
    • Hey Thanks Wayne !! Now stop reading my blog and get to work on making it look even more Gorgeous~ you website design YODA !! hahahahaaa
      Lynne xx

      January 11, 2012
  20. “Love juice” — you’ve gotta love that term. Congratulations and best wishes to you and Michael.

    January 11, 2012
    • Thanks Elyse! Love juice….spreadin’ the love never hurt anyone :)))) xx

      January 11, 2012
  21. I love that your kid commented.
    I love that you are so flippin’ positive.
    xo

    January 11, 2012
    • Too funny! I had two kids comment! Crazy koooookies. Love, the flippin’ positive gal xx

      January 11, 2012
  22. Anonymous #

    Hi Lynne,
    What a coincidence. As you know I have the same cancer as your husband and TODAY I had my first of the many coming 3 month maintenance chemo sessios. This chemo was much easier than the others as it is just the wonder drug Rituxamab (Rituxan), some oral anti nausea pills and in my case Hydrocortisone (to prevent reactions).
    I keep my ear to the ground on the research for this cancer and cancers that are similar and I am very pleased to observe that a great many new break throughs are on the way. I am willing to bet that some thing better than Rituximab will be available in 2 to 5 years to help beat this orphan cancer out of existence.

    January 11, 2012
    • :))) I am crossing my fingers, toes, and everything in~between and dreaming of that day. Until then, may you continue to Kick Cancer in the Butt too! You, like Michael, are a Cancer warrior…and I am sending all my love and Angels your way to whoop Cancer in the butt.
      Much love, Lynne xx

      January 11, 2012
  23. Tristan #

    Mommy that blog post made me cry happy tears! You really nailed it! Dad is one hell of a fighter.. thanks for being the rock of the family through this hard journey.

    January 11, 2012
    • Heyy its mackezie
      it was a great post mom tris is so right…. Good post (bad words) LOL love you….keep it up dad!!!

      January 11, 2012
  24. Jo #

    Beautiful Mrs Knowlton this is a fabulous post I love reading everything you write: you, your family your life and your hope’s and aspirations are frankly awe inspiring, and having watched the wonderful Michael delivering helping clients succeed to a room of 70 French sales execs I can confirm it’s quite frankly the best thing I have ever ever seen. “Cancer see yourself firmly off the table, and in the words of the Great Mahan “That’s too is an ok choice !” xxxx love the Stewarts xxxx

    January 11, 2012
    • Ah Jo ~ a big fat hug right backatcha. Love what you said ” Cancer….see yourself firmly OFF THE TABLE”..made me laugh out loud thinking of all the times we tell the kids the same thing. LOL xx

      January 11, 2012
  25. Great post Lynne…made me cry at the end. What a fighter! Love you both. xoxo

    January 11, 2012
  26. Beautiful post and portrayal of your and your husband’s courage, spirit, and love. Yourdeep joy at his survival is expressed so well. Wishing you both many happy and healthy years together.

    January 11, 2012
    • Thanks for taking the time to come and read….now go have some fun in Paris you lucky duck ! xx

      January 11, 2012
  27. Bee #

    I absolutely love your description of your feelings and I hung on every word because, we who have had cancer visit us, want to say exactly what you just said, but don’t know how. Kick Ass Michael, way to go, you are the one in a million that has an Angel on your shoulder. Any you have Lynne as your cheerleader. Hope Paris Rocks your world. Don’t look ahead to what is after your reading glasses and dentures, because THERE IS MORE TO COME! But it sounds like you are tough enough to handle anything. Thanks for sharing.

    January 11, 2012
    • I wanted to retype every word YOU wrote, and scream it from the rooftops. Thank you! …well…except the part that comes after reading glasses and dentures. Eeeek ! Much love xx

      January 11, 2012
  28. margo #

    Thank You. Cancer is an ugly unwanted houseguest for us as well. I needed this post today to pull my head out of the rain. I was eating fig newtons in bed AND crying. Positive Warrior face is back on! although i may still be eating some fig newtons…. ;)

    January 11, 2012
    • Hi Margo….share some of those fig newtons with me :). Thanks, I now how a Fig Newton craving.haha. Much love and hugs, Lynne xx

      January 11, 2012
  29. as usual you are one amazing chick, my twitter friend. Hope all the best for you, Michael and the kids. And after reading this…you are entitled to vodka with a little lime twist, and some fun and expensive new fancy shoes to do the “beat ya” dance. Thanks for sharing your warrior story!

    January 11, 2012
    • Did I hear Vodka ? Lime twist ? New shoes ? MUSIC TO MY EARS !! You just described my dream day. xx

      January 11, 2012

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